Clean your room...or don't.

I hear parents talk endlessly about their battle with their children over cleaning up the bedroom. I've felt that pain, in fact, it's led me to tears before!

I think already, I've tried almost every method out there. But the one that has reaped the greatest rewards for our family has been one of our own making. (Surely not original, but Coleman stamped none the less)

Our girls aren't forced to clean their room. It is optional. 

Don't stop reading, I am leading somewhere and it isn't to mamby-pamby parenting land methods where in "I am my child's best friend". On 2nd thought, if that's your style you may WANT to stop reading. :)

Before each school morning (Mon-Fri), beds must be made in our home before we either leave the house or begin our school work. That is not and never will be optional. It's a 30 second chore that makes a huge difference on the entire feel of your day.

My girls let their room deteriorate over the weekend, because they could! It was a choice they were given, and it's the door they opted for. By today, the remnants from Friday night's fort were sitting in a heap in one corner of their room, china tea parties along with dirty socks graced their floor in another corner along with small piles of just about every pink and purple play thing they own. It was quite a scene. 

Why do I let them clean optionally? Well, though I only have 7 short years as "mom" under my belt, I've learned something that I want my kids to understand....the value of a good decision. I won't be with Emma everywhere she goes when she's 20, and though I can try to give her the best foundation possible, I can't make her choices for her, or for Liv, or Liam.

My children are pretty obedient as obedience goes....They know that consequences follow disobedience, so if I make them clean the room, they will. But what did they learn? (Obedience yes! But we're practicing that in many other ways....) In this case, we're talking about their own personal space in our home and learning to be responsible for it, not because "mom says to", because they WANT to. There are many areas that our children must trust our judgement on and do as we say without question, but this particular issue is training ground to me.

If E & O choose to leave their room messy, this is what they can expect. A rather boring day. There is no tv, no computer time, no outings with friends or family, and today, (gasp!) no snow adventures till that room was spotless. Do I even have to tell you how hard they worked to make that room shine this morning? But to them, the cleaning today was endless due to the white substance that was beckoning them outside!! By rest time (1 hr of quiet time we take each afternoon), they were both VYING to be in their room for that time period. It was another learning example...."See the difference girls, this morning you acted as though your room held the plague! Now, you are begging to spend time there, people love to be where there is order and peace, it'll be the same for you and your family someday...your husband and kids will WANT to be home when it is peaceful!" 

It's the same as adults. No one was here to tell me "Nellie, are you going to clean your room?" Although, truth be told, sometimes I'd welcome someone else being the decision maker on those mornings when I just don't wanna.... But today, I wanted to, because I've learned to value a peaceful, calm home. We must choose daily whether we'll be responsible or take the easy path. I want all my kids to find the same choice and make it for themselves. 

So...perhaps before you clean your child's room for them, or threaten to throw out half their toys in exasperation (Such a bad one, but yep, I've been there).....Perhaps there's a personal stamped room plan for your family that just needs to be enforced and enjoyed! 

Take heart from another mom who's run the emotion gamut on children's rooms!