Tonight while Andy is at work, we've been cleaning Emma's room. We dumped every container of toys that we own into one enormous pile as I sort through what stays, what goes, what's broken and what is horribly annoying in sound. :)
It's actually one of my favorite cleaning projects because the girls don't interrupt, they're too busy engrossed in all the toys they'd forgotten we had. It makes a very nice evening project.
As Emma was doing her usual gabbing, about everything around her, she turns to me and says (word for word) "Mom, you can look at me whenever you want, you can use me as a mirror."
My hands full of toys, I stopped and just starred at her, feeling like all the toys in the world hit my shoulders in that moment.
Usually, her babbling is cute and sweet, but isn't "earth-shattering" if you know what I mean. In her mind, it was just another comment, followed quickly by talk of ballet and how much she needs to practice.
I can't stop thinking about it though, I have to pray "Lord, that was a reminder from you wasn't it?" The older Emma gets (now 3 1/2 going on 12) she mimmicks us regularly, even as innocently as how we eat certain food, or pretending to read her Bible like she sees her Daddy do in the mornings. But I also hear her raise her voice at Olivia as she'd heard me do in my impatience and frustration.....She remembers what we say, what we do, how we treat other people, especially when we are not in "training mode". Would I want Emma to be exactly as I am? I already tense up when I see my own issues present in her life as well, as I watch her fight for control and yet desperately need to know her parent authority has it. She's so dramatic as I was as a child, struggling to control her sensitive emotions....And yet I am called to shape our daughters into young women who love and desire to serve the Lord.
I am only 3 1/2 years into the hardest, most humbling job of my life, only another 80 to go. :)
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