A Thought for Wives

A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies.

Proverbs 31:10

If you're married....perhaps you'll be able to relate, or glean a bit from the lessons I'm learning. If you're not married...well then follow along and hopefully you'll still enjoy!

I have been with Andrew, whether dating or married for 9 1/2 years. And yet, in some ways, I feel as though my lessons in love taken an especially long time to learn.

Case in point. Lately, our lives are, well shall we say hectic? Yes, that fits.

Andy's schedule is one of redundancy. Sleep, study, classes, work, steal a few minutes to be with us, repeat.

My goal has been to ease that burden as much as I possibly can. How might you ask? :)

Well, to me, there's nothing more relaxing and peaceful than a clean, good smelling, peaceful home. All the rest of the world seems conquerable when your home is in order.

I've made it my goal to have nice meals, warm lamp light, scented candles, soft music, clean quietly playing children and fairly spotless living area ready and waiting for Andy when he gets home every night.

(Here enters a main difference between most men and women)

Andy is actually very faithful to praise and compliment me on all those things....Those accomplishments of mine. But I had noticed that he still seemed on edge when home....

Hm....Wasn't I speaking my love through all my actions? Didn't he know how much I treasured the time he was home?

That was just it. Nail on the head.

Finally, after a few months of this new routine here in Watertown, we had a heart-to-heart. Yes, Andy loves all those things that I do....Yes, it's comforting and refreshing and he was thankful. But it wasn't his deepest love language, not like it was mine.

You see, in order to keep up such "perfection"at home, large amounts of time need to be spent in constant management. Andy could tell that I was nearly wiped to the floor by the time he arrived home, spent from a day of making everything nice (aka perfect) for him.

He really released me with his next words...."You make a wonderful home....the perfect home for us.....but I wouldn't care if you were in sweats, without having showered, toys in every room and no thoughts for dinner as long as you have one of your big smiles for me when I walk in the door and have time to spend with me to let me know you're happy I'm here. I just want you, that's enough."

How crazy simple yet amazing.

In my heart....My actions were shouting "I LOVE YOU! I spend all day preparing for you, all day caring for your home and our children to ease your evening"

But in reality, those are my love languages....

Are you speaking your husband's??