The Storms and the Hands

School itself can be a storm,

and even though we're only a week and a half shy of completing year #1, the financial reminders of school are always around us. Threatening to steal joy if we allow it to. Fear holds a lot of power IF allowed to abide in the life of a believer. It's also a sin. Let's not call it anything else....we're called in the Word to "fear not" repeatedly.

I'm embarrassed to say that in the last few days, I've trembled when I should have remembered who's holding me. Why do I make God so small?! Why do I allow Him so little movement and ASSUME that the burden lands back on my shoulders?

Because I've allowed my focus to remain on the temporal. The giants.

We've started the process for Livy to have her tonsils removed. She's having a consult with the only ENT in town and we'll schedule the surgery from there. Not heart surgery by any means, but unsettling from a parent's point of view. Storm #1

For the last few weeks, Andy's been experiencing more pain than his usually daily amount, and it's not letting up. The PT program director at the school was scolding him for having not seen a specialist in so long...She thinks his ankle situation is changing. Fast forward to yesterday when during a gait training class, Andy was brought forward as a teaching example. During the teacher's evaluation, the director seemed to forget for a moment that Andy was actually listening to her prognosis as she relayed to the class that without pain intervention, Andy will be facing a full knee replacement within 5 years with a hip replacement needed 5 years following that. The reaction of his ankle is slowly effecting his whole body. Storm #2.

Then, there's the battle of "Hm, how should we make ends meet this month?" Which is on-going with school. There isn't anything the Lord hasn't taken care of yet (albeit even at the very last second), and yet I look ahead to a summer without income followed by next Spring of the same....And then at that moment....I'm reminded by a wise person that once again, I'm focusing on the "Giants of the Land" which will do me no good. They only get bigger if you focus on them.

My heart is broken at my own lack of trust.....of failing to ASK the Lord for what I need...What my family needs....instead of crying that it's missing. His long-suffering with me has no end.

Today, I am SAFE in His arms, I will rejoice and be glad for He has been good to me. I'm determined to be rising earlier than usual and spending more time in prayer for the needs of my family and for the Lord to open doors that come by faith.

Click here to listen to Phil Wickham's song "Safe"