How do you hold hands?

As far as couples go, I have a weird theory and it's all about your fingers.

In our relationship, I "hold" Andy's hand.

This isn't on purpose, but it's been that way for 12 years.

Even though 9 times out of 10, he's the one that grabs MY hand. I'm actually always the one that has the outer thumb. If this makes no sense, stop here and go grab someone's hand (assuming that someone you know is in your near proximity) and you'll see what I mean.

When holding hands, someone gets the outer pinkie, and someone gets the outer thumb. Now really, who cares about scoring the outer pinkie? Pinkies are weak, they're good for being jammed and holding out while drinking tea and that's about it.

BUT, because of the way we hold hands, I had always thought that I had the larger hand between Andy and I till recently. I brought this up to Andy the other night and his amused snort told me he did not agree. He made me push our hands up against each other to prove his point. His is much larger.

"You think that because you usually hold my hand and not the other way around. Whoever's thumb is on the outside is encompassing the other's hand, it makes it feel bigger."

He's right.

You know what. I like control. I like to feel in control. I like to hold his hand, and be the one with the thumb that's free and in charge, too often, that's how I treat our relationship too.

But when it comes down to it, on the days I greatly need his reinsurance, there's no other place I'd rather be than wrapped in Andy's hand, safe, feeling protected and loved, even at the expense of a smooshed thumb.

How do I hold hands with God? With my thumb out there just in case I need to jerk his hand back in line with my path and plan, or safe inside his, ready to go where He starts walking.

This week, I made it a point to switch the way I hold hands with Andy. Something that has made him smile and squeeze my hand every single time for. He knows I love to lead, I love to call the shots, he also knows I want to be his running partner, not his coach...There in-lies my struggle. Not because he dominates me, but because he has a God-given role as our family's leader....not dictator...leader. Let's be honest, we're all happier when we're accepting the roles God gave us.

Just a thought.